It's me, yep the 40 year old you, weird eh!
Right now your gorgeous cheery little girl is turning 21, I know shocking right! She's amazing, independent, beautiful and happily in love. You did a bloody great job, you gave her love, values and encouraged her to be who she wanted to be and she respects you for that. You're still close, hugs, mum-daughter dates and bangers & mash made into smiley faces. Yep still! she's hilarious! 😆
Life is good, great in fact! But let me give you some advice, things are about to get serious!
First thing's first - you've got this, you're beautiful, kind and considerate and you're an amazing mum! 🤩Never forget that.
Believe in yourself! (Yep, this letter is a long one hence the sub titles, but read it it's important.)
So you're a single mum and you don't have enough hours in the day to wee never mind anything else! Being single doesn't mean you can't and won't be happy, you're an independent, strong woman. Stay strong through the shitty shifts and lack of money . I know you hate the fact that you're missing out on special things by working all hours but it will pay off. You're a big part of your daughters life and always will be, you'll get teary at her plays, you'll sit proud at her parents evenings and you'll enjoy life together. Believe in yourself and your self belief will encourage her. 😀
Enjoy every minute!
Too obvious? It is and I know you love being a mum, I'm just emphasising how quickly time flies by! Enjoy the gluing and glittering, the splashing in the bath, the sitting in the sun making daisy chains together. And when you've put your little girl to bed and you flop onto the sofa knackered knowing you still have housework to do, you know that its all worth it. I miss those times now, the cheeky girl giggles, the innocent happiness, my little smiley wing-woman. Those special things shouldn't be taken for granted.
Reach for the stars!
Life has taught me that the world really is my oyster! My husband, yes your husband! (I'll get to that later) is one of the strongest people I know and he's taught me that life is for living, not just getting by but living life to the full! So I know things are tough, but don't focus on just getting by because you will get by! Reach out for the things you really want. You can be who you want to be and do what you want to do, those things aren't just dreams, they're dreams waiting for you!
Now brace yourself because this is a long one!
You're a few years away from actually realising that you are who you are, I remember! You know what I mean, all that 'what do they think?' and 'but what will people say?' Stop worrying about what other people think, it simply makes you paranoid and isn't worth your time. You think your hips are bigger than other people's, so what? You see people staring at your face, so what? You think people are judging your parenting? So bloody what? No-one else's opinion matters, just be you.
I still have that sweet tooth but I can control it a little better than you can! (A little) You should ease off the chocolate, it probably doesn't help the acne and although you're lucky enough to never see the evidence of those calories you're downing, you will! What I mean is, at 40 (youthful 😉) I have to balance my sweet tooth with lots of steps! I can hear you saying 'yes mum' but you'll find out I'm right! 😲
Back to being serious now listen to me, toxic people are bad for your health, get rid of them, you don't need them no matter who they are. When the calls revolve around them without consideration for you, it's one sided. When you always give and they always take, it's one sided. When you give respect but receive none in return, it's ONE SIDED! Don't waste the years, feeling guilty and worrying if people will judge your motives, this is your life and you have a well deserved place in this world. If people can't share your happiness, if they're not there when you need support, get rid of them! Yes it sounds harsh but you know your life will be brighter. Life is too short to let anyone dull your sparkle, be positive and confident in your own sunny world. (Is that hippy-ish enough for you?)
Choose your own path.
I know you feel lost sometimes and you question if you're doing the right thing. You're teaching your daughter values, consideration and self respect and that is the right thing. As for your career, do what you want to do and do it well, you'll succeed even if you don't have a shiny title! Let other people worry about their own lives and you focus on yours, it's going to be great!
About all of the above! And stop imagining you'll be single forever! yes you're a package deal but that doesn't put people off like you think it does. Be yourself and enjoy life with your rosy cheeked girl and when you're worrying less, you're going to meet someone. Stop looking so doubtful! You're amazing and he's out there waiting to meet you, I know it because he's my husband! Those lonely nights when your daughter is in bed will become filled with love and laughter. I'm telling you! And there's a bonus, yep that second baby you once considered will come as your husband's daughter. A ready made family just for you. Embrace your new family and be confident! Your amazing man won't see the lines on your tummy, he won't question your simplicity, he loves you for who you are. He'll support you, he'll make you laugh and you're going to see wonderful places together.
Wow that was deep, I think I stopped breathing while I wrote that and I drank a few coffees, good job the gin wasn't close by! 😆
I know life seems really serious to you right now, cry, keep punching those cushions and stand tall because it pays off!
As you can see, the babbling on is still a thing 😆so I'll finish up with some final 'mum voice' words,
Stop frowning so much, worrying won't change anything and you still get a bum head anyway! Live your life to the fullest! Love those that value you and bring sunshine into your life and definitely laugh more! Laugh until your ribs hurt. Laugh with friends, with family and in your own company. Be happy. 🙂
Love yourself and always be yourself.
As I said before, you've got this, you're beautiful, kind and considerate . You are simply amazing!
Love me xx
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