I just don't want one.
I don't hate dogs and I get that some are too cute with their little antics, but that doesn't mean I want one. I've had my fair share of dog experiences during my paper round days! (Do paper rounds still exist?)
I have several dog owner friends so I'll happily risk a stroke and maybe even engage in a little 'fetch'. (Small dogs only) But having a dog means you've pretty much stepped into parenthood and I've been there and done that!
In the eyes of some their pets are their babies, bundles of joy with their own little personalities. A friend of mine always refers to her pets as her babies but then her puppy actually hugs her! (Very nearly changed my mind! Nearly.) They also eat, sleep and poo so I can definitely see their point. Just recently I heard a dog owner say to her beloved pet,
"Go on, go to Dad and let him put your lead on"
I admit I had a little giggle to myself, I'm a Non Pet Person (NPP) after all!
Do all pet owners refer to themselves as parents to their pets?
Then there's Poopascooping, hand in a bag touching warm poo... Give me nappies and I have no problem but if I ever get a dog, I'll need some sort of non touch poo contraption!
And what about their bums when they come back inside after the poo? Is it possible to train a dog to use a baby wipe before it sits back on the house floor?
NPP - Non Pet Person
The Doggy Doubts of an NPP
While we're clearing up my doggy doubts, what are the rules with leads? I know dogs need to run off that energy but let me tell you about yesterday...
I'm enjoying a walk when two dog walkers meet, cue lots of stroking and sniffing from dogs on leads.
Separate to them, there's a giant Alsatian ('giant' may be exaggerating but I'm sticking with it because those things are huge!) so the Alsatian is bounding around with no lead and I'm a bit nervous. This is one big dog and I was bitten by one once
(Just under bottom, full jaw print and bruise, I couldn't sit comfortably for a week!)
The dog owners are talking like proud parents and all the while I'm worried about the dog (dinosaur) potentially bounding towards me wanting to play/eat my limbs/kill! Especially when the owner screeches its name over and over every time it strays too far from him.
I didn't want to make eye contact with the Alsatian owner, in case he said hi and his dog (T-Rex) thought I was a friend to play with! I didn't want to make eye contact with dino dog in case he 'smelled my fear'! (Is that really a thing?) So I'm sat on a bench messing with my phone in an attempt to display an 'I'm not interested in you or your dog' look.
Then it gets cold so I decide to head home, but I worry about dino dog potentially bounding over to bark goodbye! I decide to stay still and be cold until the dog has gone. It took ages! The nervous me wants all dogs to be on leads simply because I fear for my legs! The sensible me understands they need their exercise.
So what's the answer?!
No matter how many times you say 'it won't bite' I don't feel any better, it's a bit like saying 'my child wouldn't do that' when we all know it could! (I'm a mum)
I know you love your doggies but allowing your pooch to bound over, inciting a nervous jig while trying not to show fear of being eaten is scary to an NPP.
I'm not ranting to annoy all the pet people out there, I'm simply giving you an insight into a non pet person's mind.
The chances of me getting a pet before I'm a pensioner are small because I'd feel restricted. Besides dogs are definitely better off without me because I genuinely haven't got a clue!
I Simply Sarah, hereby promise to continue to stroke my friends dogs.
I promise to partake in toy throwing. Repeatedly. For a maximum of ten minutes.
BUT if your dog ever tries to eat me/hump me/poo on me I must put my foot down and I will call a friendship meeting! 😆
*Update from June 2017*
I'm still an NPP but a considerate pet owner recently made me want to update you!
We took a walk the other day and as we sat on a bench to enjoy the lake view a bull terrier wandered towards us casually. The owner dashed towards us to ask if we minded her dog being near us because she understands not everyone likes dogs. 🙂
This very moment contradicted my original blog post! It was the first time we'd encountered a dog walker who didn't assume that we all like dogs and were grateful that she considered us.
Thank you lovely dog owner forproving me wrong!
Photo Credits: Lauren Crawford & Rebecca Paddison
Hi I'm Sarah!
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